Saturday, March 26, 2005

the Donnie Darko experience

Gretchen : " What kind of name is Donnie Darko ? It makes you sound like some kind of Superhero ."
Donnie : "What makes you think I'm not ? "

After infinite recommendations and as many chidings ("What ? You haven't seen Donnie Darko ?"), I got down today to seeing this little gem of a movie, the sort of film that you may never have heard of earlier, but after watching it, one that you are never going to forget, especially when you consider the fact that you might have to watch it more than just once to understand its true meaning.

Essentially based on a science fiction back-bone, it runs through an entire gamut of themes, from quantum physics and wormholes (there is even a discussion on this in the movie :), yay for old Stephen Hawking), mysterious tangent universes, a budding romantic relationship which is more than just vaguely reminiscent of the one between Thora Birch and the weirdo neighbour in "American Beauty", and a fiercely critical look at the American schooling system.

And as i looked through the credits, my eyes nearly popped out when i noticed that the character of the psychiatrist was played by Katherine Ross, the same actress who was the beautiful, beautiful Elaine in "The Graduate" all those years back. Didn't recoginse her at all.

So what makes the Donnie Darko experience so magical ? A terrific performance from Jake Gyllenhall (interestingly, his real life sister Maggie plays his sister in the film), a superb soundtrack, and the verve and depth of vision that is so conspicious by its absence in big-budget productions.

Yay for indie films. :)

Donnie : "What does it feel like to have a whacko son ? "
Mother : "It feels beautiful."

*wipes tear*

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

fit the bill?

My favourite lines from one of my favourite books ,Jack Kerouac's "On the Road"

..the only ones for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn burn burn like fabulous Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centrelight pop and everybody goes 'Aww' .


Anyone fits the bill ?

Monday, March 21, 2005

right now

right now, i am

hungry, sad
missing someone
being missed
waiting watching wondering hoping
humming, listening
lyrical, prosaic
boring, bored
yacketayakking screaming vomitting whispering
quoting, plagiarising
waiting watching wondering hoping
disappointed, depressed
admired, revered
admiring, revering
reviled, hated
tolerant, trying

Thursday, March 17, 2005

there is no spoon

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

I wore a full-sleeved formal shirt for the first time in two years today. It was a compulsory requirement for an English presentation that I had to make.

It was comical to see the bewildered expressions of my classmates as I expounded sagely on the philosophy of "The Matrix"; but i guess Plato's allegory of the cave and Descartian thought and Buddhist theology is a little too much to handle for individuals who have hitherto been subjected to topics as thought-provoking as "Waste Management" and "The Kyoto Protocol".

Oh, and by the way, I never knew that the buttons on the cuffs are that difficult to fasten on your own. Just goes to show that we learn something new everyday.

I have been wondering about another little issue recently.
I don't dream anymore.
No no not those i-wanna-be-a-punk-rocker kind of dreams, but the real ones -the types which creep up on you in the throes of deep sleep and kiss you ever so slightly and leave a little imprint like faded away lipstick on a shirt's collar that refuses to go away but reminds you that it actually happened, even if only in the playground of your mind's eye.

And i don't know if i'm in a minority here, but it always seemed to me that most of my dreams were bad ones, not to the extent of being nightmarish, but simply pointless journeys into nothingness where you met people you knew and just hung around waiting for someone to pull the plug ; or perhaps it is just a manifestation of our selective memories, a self-conscious-imposed negativity that makes us look at the world with dung-tinted glasses that makes us forget all the nice ones.

And i cannot , for the life of me,recollect whether my dreams were in colur or black-and-white. It is a wonder that people remember such things....

Saturday, March 12, 2005

big toe?

Well correct me if i'm wrong, but after extensive observations, i have arrived at the conclusion that an alarming percentage of the human male population have their second toes LONGER than their big toes.

Interestingly, this appears to be far less prevalent amongst the female of the species.

I wonder why.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

the walk of life

Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day
And after all the violence and double talk
There's just a song in the trouble and the strife
You do the walk, you do the walk of life

I hate to be overtly melodramatic about anything, but as
i sang 'Walk of Life' along with Mark Knopfler on Monday night,i
damn near cried with joy. It simply has to be the highlight
of my life.

The man is such a legend that he even has a dinosaur
named after him, Masiakasaurus Knopfleri

Back today in college, life has got back to being what it really is,
a bitch.

Sunday, March 06, 2005


I had the weirdest journey home.
I missed one bus by 5 minutes, which meant that I had to wait for 2 hours for the next, which true to the machinations of Murphy's Law, contrived to break down along the way.

I sat on the bus next to a guy who spoke to me for less than 5 minutes, and immediately informed me that i was either a Cancer or Virgo. W E I R D . I am , incidentally, a Cancer.

All this meant that the bus reached at the unholy hour of 3 am, and with no viable means of public transport, i had to trudge my way home on foot. Now stray dogs have always scared the hell out for me. And i as i walked back, i was surrounded by some 25, TWENTY-FIVE i kid you not, strays that barked and growled and snarled and howled at my every shivering step. Its a good thing barking dogs seldom bite, else i wouldn't be around to tell the tale.

When they finally got bored of bullying me and left, who was to arrive in my path but a drunk with a broken bottle in his hand. I wouldn't like to go into the details, but we had a charming conversation, only terminated by my decision to run like a madman.

Its a wonder i'm still alive

I got tickets for Mark Knopfler's concert tomorrow. Woo hoo !

Thursday, March 03, 2005

home sweet home

But all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity
Like emptiness in harmony I need someone to comfort me.
Homeward bound,
I wish I was.
God knows how many times i've allowed that song to play itself out in my head, wishing i was on a bus rolling towards home. And, tomorrow, i will be homeward bound :-) , for a 4 - day mini-vacation with my family.

There is something beautifully comforting about a journey when you know that goodness lies on the other side; an easy melancholia that envelopes your soul like a warm quilt on a wintry day.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that i will return a million kgs heavier, what with lavish king-sized meals that are sure to punctuate each day, not to mention slothfulness of an extreme nature. But the real reason i'm going home is not the pampering, the fawning even, but the fact that the Sultan of Swing is going to be in town.

The legendary singer/songwriter/guitarist of Dire Straits Mark Knopfler is scheduled to perform coming Monday, and it cannot come soon enough! Despite the fact that tickets are obscenely over-priced (even for someone of the stature of Knopfler) ,there is nothing like the arrival of the prodigal son to warm the cockles of the heart and loosen the purse-strings of my parents, who have been soooo sweet to agree to shoulder the Sultan's ransom. I can only hope the tickets don't sell out by the time i'm there.

I've always loved Dire Straits; the brutal simplicity of ' and me, babe, how about it? ', the haunting 'So far away' , the wonderfully uplifting 'Walk of Life' and the cheekiness of 'Money for Nothing' - all replete with the wry humour and virtuoso guitar-playing of Mark Knopfler. The man is a living legend, and if i do make it to the show on Monday, it will be a privilege.......

I saw 'Amelie' again yesterday. If any one of you resembles/behaves/speaks like her, just let me know and i'll marry you in an instant.
I assure you that i compare favourably with Nino.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

send an instant message......

Its funny how so many people are so much nicer in the online world than in reality. Rude, spiteful and sometimes downright obnoxious individuals ( i guess that covers most of us, maybe i should put in selfish/unfriendly/egoistic for good measure ) metamorphose into epitomes of good manners - absolute darlings over-eager to impress with an over-abundance of pleases and thank-yous and what-not.

I am left baffled by this; because when you think about it , there is absolutely no reason why anyone has to be nice to anybody else online; in fact it is probably easier to vent your anger at someone and walk away without any guilt or fear of recrimination.

Maybe it can be explained as being an obvious manifestation of the one-dimensional nature of virtual reality- stripped of your classy clothes, pretty face and physical persona , this is the REAL you, your innards on public display, and if you aren't on your best behaviour you'll be left behind. Its also perhaps the reason why so many people are finding love online, because it serves as a throwback to the time when if you got together with somebody you bought their character and their soul, not their bank balances or big boobs.

For three months, my best friend was someone i met online. And even if she's gone now, i'll rest safe in the knowledge that if all of us just shut ourselves up in our roooms in front of our computers for a day, the world would be an altogether happier nicer so much more beautiful place to be, if only for 24 hours.

About Me

a recluse waiting for salvation